This week is Thanksgiving in the US. In the past, Thanksgiving had a special place in the hearts of Americans, especially as we became a mobile nation. It was the day when people would go back to their hometowns, families, and communities. But last year, the envelope was pressed and Thanksgiving became a day when retail establishments decided they could force workers to report to work. This year there are even more. However, for college students, higher education policies over the last decade has slowly been disintegrating the importance of the holiday also.
Higher Education and Thanksgiving in the Past
Some might contend that there has been no change in the policy for attending classes the week of Thanksgiving. Yes, as an undergraduate, I had classes until Tuesday (although it was usually Tuesday at noon). But to understand the current issues, it is important to understand the changes to Higher Education since the 1980's.
During the 1990's two things changed in Higher Education: the merging of "continuing education" or "night school" with the traditional undergraduate schedule and the "nationalization" of higher education. The impact of allowing traditional students to take courses at night and soon the desolving of two different systems (one for "working" students and one for "full-time students" meant that now there were night classes ending at 10:00 PM. In the past "commuter" or local "continuing education" students would be available for Tuesday night classes while traditional students who may not be local would have travel time.
Another thing that impacted the educational system was the recruiting of students from outside of the local market. This happened in the 1990's when the demographics of college age students changed to a smaller population to draw from. In addition, US News and World Report changed the basis for assessing and categorizing colleges. Now smaller colleagues could gain status by drawing students from around the US and internationally, moving from "Regional" to "National" colleges. National colleges continue to have more status than regional. However, nationalizing your student population means that students need more time to get back home for holidays such as Thanksgiving. Many of these colleges, however, have not made adjustments to their policies or schedules that consider the new profile of their students.
Problems and Solutions
How did (does) this affect Thanksgiving? It used to be that classes ended in plenty of time for students to travel back to their home towns. However, when night classes were opened up to traditional students a number of problems resulted.
These problems can be resolved with some simple policy changes:
1. Problem: Tuesday classes that meet once a week. If students miss the class they miss a week's worth of instruction. There is a real problem with accreditors and even some students that want their money's worth.
Solution 1: Schedule classes to end for Thanksgiving on Monday. There are plenty of Monday holidays that this will not result in too many Monday classes if the school year is extended to add a Tuesday class at the end of the schedule.
Solution 2: Allow for alternative instruction. I usually have an online class the week before Thanksgiving. My students who are on a train (and soon on a plane) or waiting for transportation, many of them with G5 mobile phones with access anywhere, can participate live. Those who don't have access during class time can go to a library and participate before or after the class. I have a colleague that has one on one meetings with students during the week of Thanksgiving. If students need to leave earlier, they can make an appointment for that meeting the week BEFORE Thanksgiving during her office hours. There still is the same amount of contact hours, however, it is not in a classroom. These are very useful for her students because they discuss research work they are doing. In both of these cases, it is important that an instructor document (i.e. save online interactions, save sign up sheets for "tutoral") that the same time was spent on instruction.
2. Problem: Students who have to leave early due to travel will miss classes. Other students will take advantage of it and it means the professor is teaching to an empty classroom.
Solution 1: Allow for alternative instruction (see above). Online classes that are set up well can have just as much of an impact as face to face and requires the same effort by an instructor.
Solution 2: Institute a policy in which students CANNOT be penalized for missing class the week of Thanksgiving. This means no tests can be administered and credit cannot be taken away due to absence. My daughter had a letter grade taken away from her final grade because she had to be picked up early due to the storms this week. My son received a 0 on an oral test which he was not allowed to make up because the only ticket he could be home before dorms closed was during the class where the oral exam was being given. I have heard faculty brag that they had almost full attendance except for the students who lived in the snow belt of upstate New York. It was too bad that they missed the exams, but they made the decision to leave early (despite the closing of roads later that night)so would not be allowed to make it up.
Solution 3: School has a process to get clearance for travel during this week. Students that live far away which requires travel earlier in the week or road conditions that will be unfavorable will be cleared by an administrator.
Solution 4: Students can be rewarded for attending classes the week of Thanksgiving. I know of many teachers who will give the answers to exam questions on the day before Thanksgiving or students get extra credit for the assignments they do in class during the week of Thanksgiving. This puts the responsibility of attending on the student. While the student is not penalized for going home early, the student that stays is rewarded.
3. Problem: Students need to leave less than 24 hours after their last class. This is especially problematic for those who have night classes as they may need to travel during the night when driving difficult or they may not be able to get a ticket for mass transportation because of the demands during Thanksgiving.
Solution 1: My son goes to a Big 10 school (which like all Big 10 schools are in the middle of nowhere with limited transportation options) a 6 hour drive away from our home. He had a choice of leaving before his exam (which he was not allowed to make up) or leave the next day by 10:00 AM. The problem was that would not give us time to pick him up. He also would have to wait outside for 5 hours between the time his bus left and he had to be out of his dorm. Last year the policy changed because there was a football game scheduled. Students had until 5:00 the next day to leave their dorms. The solution then should be to either give students 24 hours after the last class has ended to get picked up or find a common area where students can wait/get food/go to the bathroom before they need to leave.
Solution 2: End classes on Monday or the Friday before Thanksgiving. This makes it possible for families to pick up children without taking time off from work and/or more options for traveling. Likewise, dorms should open on Saturday afternoon to allow for students coming from long distances to return in time for classes on Monday. Giving a small window to return means students may not be able to make it back to campus on time.
Impact on Change of Policy
The goal of these changes are to reconcile the needs of administrators, faculty, students, parents, and accreditors. Colleges and Universities need to stay current to the changes in their environment and demographic make up. Parents don't want to get involved, but they are a factor in many undergraduates' lives. Many help pay the bills, pick up students or make travel arrangements, and need to coordinate their own schedules with that of their children. Likewise, faculty and administrators need to deliver instruction being accountable to accrediting organizations, government, parents, and students. With some tweeking of policies, all stakeholders can be accommedated.
Finally, Thanksgiving, more than any other holiday, has a great impact on students. This is a time to reenergize, reconnect, and prepare for the transition back home for the Winter Break. For many students, it will be the only vacation they have as they will work or study during the 4-5 weeks of Winter Break. For the family, especially those who live a considerable distance from their children's colleges, this is the first time they will have been together as a family. While there are those who would like to minimize the importance of Thanksgiving to just the day before Black Friday, the majority of the country still values Thanksgiving as a day for family, however you define family.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
We just want a chance to try and to be heard
Next week I'll post about my new economic model for Higher Ed. That post is going to require some deep thinking, which can't be accomplished this week as it is Thanksgiving on Thursday. As I posted last year, Thanksgiving is a very important holiday in the US. This week we have relatives visiting from across the country (Seattle), down south (Georgia), and nieces and nephews coming home from college.
I have also been very busy with work, volunteering with my daughter's school, and just life in general as the mother of two teens, one of which is in the middle of his search for universities to attend next year.
Over the last week, I had a few insights into my own kids, education, and young adults in general.
1) My daughter tried out for two plays this past month. She went in with a positive outlook, confident in her abilities (she has a spectacular voice if I do say so myself), willing to take any part. Her resume is very good and she is willing to take any part, including chorus, when required.
However, it has been very difficult for her to go through the two auditions she had. In both cases, it was obvious that most of the parts were already pre-cast. As she said, she would have felt better had she known, "we only are casting part X and part Y, looking for this certain look." Instead, she went through one casting call, waited for 3 weeks during which they announced 3 additional casting calls. Then they changed the play and made everyone try out again. It became very obvious during the next audition that the play had already been cast as some people were told by the director what to sing. She also was given a 30 second audition and then told nothing. Others waiting for the audition, however, already knew when call backs would be, and the implication was that they had a time BEFORE the audition as to when they should return.
The second audition she had was not to obviously fixed. However, before going to the audition, she was told who would be getting the leads. It is demoralizing for those trying out to know that they have no chance, though. One girl, in particular, my daughter can relate to. Her older sister is a very talented singer (she is the other lead). My daughter, like this girl, has always felt that she has lived in the shadow of her sibling.
This leads me to the conclusion that most students just want a chance to show their abilities in a fair and equitable process. This is especially true when they might not have been heard within our system of education. A student that does not test well wants to be able to show that they KNOW things that don't fit into the process. Students feel powerless when they walk into a class with certain expectations because of siblings or records that as often as not are based on politics or a system in which those who know how to work the system come out on top. I can hear students' silent screams when they come into my class with an attitude that says, "I don't care if I do well or not. I'm not going to try so you can prove I can't." This is why I try to permit them to have as much choice as possible to prove to me (and themselves) that they can.
2) Related to this was work that I did with my daughter's school. My daughter took on an unbelievable task in putting together a musical review, the first for her "Science/Math/Technology" based school (I put this in quotes because the fact is, the majority of the students are incredibly creative and much more artistic, rather than STEM mentality). She was allowed to do so as long as she accepted all of the students who auditioned. She took up the challenge, put together a series of broadway songs, worked with those students who had never preformed before, put together and taught group numbers/harmonies, and taught acting skills she had learned over the past two years doing community theatre. I did mostly supervisory tasks, although I did identify those areas in which her colleagues might have not understood her.
I was very impressed with how she handled those in the review. She made each of them feel as if they were vitally important to the show. She also knew when to get on their case when they did not focus in rehearsal, or they would give up or not practice. At one point, when she had to come to rehearsal late, they invoked her name, afraid that she would be angry if they didn't buckle down and do what she had directed them to do. I was told by a theatre professional who attended the review, that she had done a wonderful job in putting the show together, highlighting the students strengths, ensuring that the weaker performers did not follow very strong performers.
I did work with three of the performers that had little to no experience. One of my strengths, I have found, is to create confidence in my students to try new things, and to continue on when they perceive they have failed (or to reset their standards).
Students often just want a chance to try things and to feel as good in trying and failing as when they try and do a spectacular job. So when my son and two of his classmates, their last year in high school, played for the football team for the first time in their life, they felt great about it, even though they did not get a lot of play time. Why? Because their coach made them feel that he respected them just for trying something new. At the end of the season, he presented each one of them at a football banquet with over a hundred players and their families, pointing out how each had worked hard to learn the new skill and contributed to the team. It was amazing to see the pride that each had, even though most played only about 1-2 minutes each game (out of a possible hour).
My son and his classmate just asked if they could sit in on an advanced French class in December. Their college classes don't start again until January and both are interested in French (they completed their requirements in Spanish). Their teacher was more than happy to have them come to the class, although he warned them that they probably would not understand very much as neither has studied French. My daughter is taking Art in her free time as an independent study. In both cases, the teachers could have denied them, but they encouraged them to try something new.
Good teachers want their students to try and are proud of their journey and development more than the final accomplishment (test grade). Unfortunately, in the current educational climate in the US, this is not recognized. Low test scores equates to ineffective teaching. This loses the lifelong learning skills often developed by these teachers.
3. Young adults are works in progress until their early 20's. My son, a fairly intelligent, responsible teenager, still has his moments of total stupidity. Yesterday, while horsing around, he ended up with a face full of glass when one of his friends (also usually responsible) put his hand through a window (he thought is was plexy glass). When his mother, the school nurse, the dean of academics, and I asked the same question, "what were you thinking?", their answers were the same, "we didn't know it was glass."
I think we expect too much of young adults: that they know what they are doing is bullying, inappropriate, dangerous, etc..., that they know what they want to do with the rest of their life, that they are not going to make mistakes. Of course, they also like to exert their independence. What is important is that we allow them to make mistakes that won't impact their lives, that we allow them to crawl out of the messes they have made, that we are there, not to "save" them or take on their problems, but to support them as they work through the problems that everyone must face as part of life, and that we teach them the skills to deal with life that sometimes might be overwhelming for them.
I see many of my students who have no one to say, " you know, you're doing a good job coping, life sucks sometimes, but you have to keep going, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, keep a positive out look." I also remind my students of those that have it worse than themselves (although sometimes it is hard when I hear some of their stories). One way to help students help is to have them help others.
4. Finally, I think we in the US have to recognize that ultimately, most teachers get into teaching because they really care about their students. While we may not always agree with their styles and not all teachers' styles will be effective with all students, teachers DO NOT get into education because they will have their summers off (the fact is, most states require that teachers have additional training during their "time off."). They truly believe they can teach. Most education programs weed out those that don't like or are unable to connect to students. I always have to catch myself when my daughter or son has a problem with a teacher. They may not be "good teachers" as I would define them, but for the most part, they do care about the students.
I have also been very busy with work, volunteering with my daughter's school, and just life in general as the mother of two teens, one of which is in the middle of his search for universities to attend next year.
Over the last week, I had a few insights into my own kids, education, and young adults in general.
1) My daughter tried out for two plays this past month. She went in with a positive outlook, confident in her abilities (she has a spectacular voice if I do say so myself), willing to take any part. Her resume is very good and she is willing to take any part, including chorus, when required.
However, it has been very difficult for her to go through the two auditions she had. In both cases, it was obvious that most of the parts were already pre-cast. As she said, she would have felt better had she known, "we only are casting part X and part Y, looking for this certain look." Instead, she went through one casting call, waited for 3 weeks during which they announced 3 additional casting calls. Then they changed the play and made everyone try out again. It became very obvious during the next audition that the play had already been cast as some people were told by the director what to sing. She also was given a 30 second audition and then told nothing. Others waiting for the audition, however, already knew when call backs would be, and the implication was that they had a time BEFORE the audition as to when they should return.
The second audition she had was not to obviously fixed. However, before going to the audition, she was told who would be getting the leads. It is demoralizing for those trying out to know that they have no chance, though. One girl, in particular, my daughter can relate to. Her older sister is a very talented singer (she is the other lead). My daughter, like this girl, has always felt that she has lived in the shadow of her sibling.
This leads me to the conclusion that most students just want a chance to show their abilities in a fair and equitable process. This is especially true when they might not have been heard within our system of education. A student that does not test well wants to be able to show that they KNOW things that don't fit into the process. Students feel powerless when they walk into a class with certain expectations because of siblings or records that as often as not are based on politics or a system in which those who know how to work the system come out on top. I can hear students' silent screams when they come into my class with an attitude that says, "I don't care if I do well or not. I'm not going to try so you can prove I can't." This is why I try to permit them to have as much choice as possible to prove to me (and themselves) that they can.
2) Related to this was work that I did with my daughter's school. My daughter took on an unbelievable task in putting together a musical review, the first for her "Science/Math/Technology" based school (I put this in quotes because the fact is, the majority of the students are incredibly creative and much more artistic, rather than STEM mentality). She was allowed to do so as long as she accepted all of the students who auditioned. She took up the challenge, put together a series of broadway songs, worked with those students who had never preformed before, put together and taught group numbers/harmonies, and taught acting skills she had learned over the past two years doing community theatre. I did mostly supervisory tasks, although I did identify those areas in which her colleagues might have not understood her.
I was very impressed with how she handled those in the review. She made each of them feel as if they were vitally important to the show. She also knew when to get on their case when they did not focus in rehearsal, or they would give up or not practice. At one point, when she had to come to rehearsal late, they invoked her name, afraid that she would be angry if they didn't buckle down and do what she had directed them to do. I was told by a theatre professional who attended the review, that she had done a wonderful job in putting the show together, highlighting the students strengths, ensuring that the weaker performers did not follow very strong performers.
I did work with three of the performers that had little to no experience. One of my strengths, I have found, is to create confidence in my students to try new things, and to continue on when they perceive they have failed (or to reset their standards).
Students often just want a chance to try things and to feel as good in trying and failing as when they try and do a spectacular job. So when my son and two of his classmates, their last year in high school, played for the football team for the first time in their life, they felt great about it, even though they did not get a lot of play time. Why? Because their coach made them feel that he respected them just for trying something new. At the end of the season, he presented each one of them at a football banquet with over a hundred players and their families, pointing out how each had worked hard to learn the new skill and contributed to the team. It was amazing to see the pride that each had, even though most played only about 1-2 minutes each game (out of a possible hour).
My son and his classmate just asked if they could sit in on an advanced French class in December. Their college classes don't start again until January and both are interested in French (they completed their requirements in Spanish). Their teacher was more than happy to have them come to the class, although he warned them that they probably would not understand very much as neither has studied French. My daughter is taking Art in her free time as an independent study. In both cases, the teachers could have denied them, but they encouraged them to try something new.
Good teachers want their students to try and are proud of their journey and development more than the final accomplishment (test grade). Unfortunately, in the current educational climate in the US, this is not recognized. Low test scores equates to ineffective teaching. This loses the lifelong learning skills often developed by these teachers.
3. Young adults are works in progress until their early 20's. My son, a fairly intelligent, responsible teenager, still has his moments of total stupidity. Yesterday, while horsing around, he ended up with a face full of glass when one of his friends (also usually responsible) put his hand through a window (he thought is was plexy glass). When his mother, the school nurse, the dean of academics, and I asked the same question, "what were you thinking?", their answers were the same, "we didn't know it was glass."
I think we expect too much of young adults: that they know what they are doing is bullying, inappropriate, dangerous, etc..., that they know what they want to do with the rest of their life, that they are not going to make mistakes. Of course, they also like to exert their independence. What is important is that we allow them to make mistakes that won't impact their lives, that we allow them to crawl out of the messes they have made, that we are there, not to "save" them or take on their problems, but to support them as they work through the problems that everyone must face as part of life, and that we teach them the skills to deal with life that sometimes might be overwhelming for them.
I see many of my students who have no one to say, " you know, you're doing a good job coping, life sucks sometimes, but you have to keep going, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, keep a positive out look." I also remind my students of those that have it worse than themselves (although sometimes it is hard when I hear some of their stories). One way to help students help is to have them help others.
4. Finally, I think we in the US have to recognize that ultimately, most teachers get into teaching because they really care about their students. While we may not always agree with their styles and not all teachers' styles will be effective with all students, teachers DO NOT get into education because they will have their summers off (the fact is, most states require that teachers have additional training during their "time off."). They truly believe they can teach. Most education programs weed out those that don't like or are unable to connect to students. I always have to catch myself when my daughter or son has a problem with a teacher. They may not be "good teachers" as I would define them, but for the most part, they do care about the students.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A cultural analysis of Thanksgiving
Over this past week, we celebrated the quintessential American holiday: Thanksgiving. Only Canada and the US celebrate this holiday. I'm not sure that the Canadian holiday holds as much meaning as it does in the US. So why is this holiday so important and what cultural values are embedded in our celebration of this holiday?
First, let's speak about cultural frameworks. Many researchers use Hofestede's framework. However, I prefer Hall's anthropological framework for cultural analysis, specifically, the high context/low context basis of analysis. The US is a fairly low context culture, meaning that the culture is open to those that have not been born into the culture. It is not necessary to understand the "context" of the culture as there are few rules, but those that there are rarely are broken. It is not necessary to understand the context of the holidays, for example, in order to understand the rituals.
So what are the features of Thanksgiving that gives an insight into the US culture?
Agrarian culture
Even though we are known for our urban centers in the US (NY City, LA, Chicago, New Orleans), we still have our roots in Agriculture. The land, food, and even patterns of life are based around the agrarian lifestyle. Our school calender is still around the harvest. Depending on where a person lives, the calender will change. In the Northeast, where we have late summers and late falls, our school calender is late by definition of the rest of the country. Thanksgiving is basically a holiday of the harvest, as we celebrate with a core set of dishes (Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweat potatoes, pumpkin and apple pies, squash) that are traditionally harvested late in the fall. However, like the rest of the country, there are regional differences, again based on the regional cultures.
Last Thanksgiving, our family celebrated Thanksgiving in Georgia, where the food was a bit sweeter and richer, with pecans, cream, and cornmeal playing a key role in the side dishes. My own family used to include foods such as dried fruit, green beans, and stale bread stuffing. My husband's family used sausage in making their stuffing for the turkey, and side dishes that reflected his family's Italian roots.
Going Home
One aspect of Thanksgiving which is unique to other US holidays is the importance of going home. This is more than going home to be with family, it also is a time to reconnect with the community in which one grew up. Perhaps a result of an agrarian culture which became mobile (as people moved to the cities or other parts of the country for better opportunities), many people take the time out to go back to visit school friends, extended family, and reconnect with their past. This is unique for a culture that tends not to look to its past. However, it is more than just seeing old friends.
Many high schools have official or unofficial reunions. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving (this holiday is always on a Thursday) is a big day for the bars and local restaurants as people go out to be with their friends they have not seen for some time. This is truly one of the most social times of the year. The Wednesday before is also the biggest travel day of the year. Interestingly enough, this "migration" reminds me of the biblical census time where everyone was expected to go back to the town in which they were born. I also feel the same sense of connection to community as I did on Election Day in Costa Rica in which most voters returned to their home town to vote. There is a connection with the past and the present; with those who were brought up with the same values even though they may have changed and have different values today.
Family
Interestingly enough, if you were to see the portrayal of Thanksgiving on television, you would think that is was the most important part of this holiday. While family is more important than many other US holidays (e.g. Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day), who we spend our Thanksgiving is an indication of how we define "family". In some cases, family is extended, in others it is nuclear, and still in others it is a close set of friends.
What we do as a family also varies. In my own family, when we were growing up, we would go outside and play American football. For many years we spent Thanksgiving at my grandparents' house on Long Island. The day after Thanksgiving, my father would take us into New York City once we were old enough (I think 6 or 7), to look at the Christmas decorations and have Shirley Temples (punch) at the Plaza Hotel. My own family has a tradition of going for a walk after dinner and before dessert is served. This too is an insight into our culture, as each family creates their own traditions on Thanksgiving.
To me, when I lived outside of the US, Thanksgiving was the hardest holiday NOT to celebrate. It seemed so AMERICAN. Perhaps that is why we always celebrated it as expatriates. We often had a feeling of real nostalgia and it was difficult to explain the "spirit" of Thanksgiving to non-Americans. For anyone who lives outside of the US, if you want to capture the true American spirit, I would suggest that you spend a Thanksgiving in the US. It is unlike any other holiday here.
First, let's speak about cultural frameworks. Many researchers use Hofestede's framework. However, I prefer Hall's anthropological framework for cultural analysis, specifically, the high context/low context basis of analysis. The US is a fairly low context culture, meaning that the culture is open to those that have not been born into the culture. It is not necessary to understand the "context" of the culture as there are few rules, but those that there are rarely are broken. It is not necessary to understand the context of the holidays, for example, in order to understand the rituals.
So what are the features of Thanksgiving that gives an insight into the US culture?
Agrarian culture
Even though we are known for our urban centers in the US (NY City, LA, Chicago, New Orleans), we still have our roots in Agriculture. The land, food, and even patterns of life are based around the agrarian lifestyle. Our school calender is still around the harvest. Depending on where a person lives, the calender will change. In the Northeast, where we have late summers and late falls, our school calender is late by definition of the rest of the country. Thanksgiving is basically a holiday of the harvest, as we celebrate with a core set of dishes (Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweat potatoes, pumpkin and apple pies, squash) that are traditionally harvested late in the fall. However, like the rest of the country, there are regional differences, again based on the regional cultures.
Last Thanksgiving, our family celebrated Thanksgiving in Georgia, where the food was a bit sweeter and richer, with pecans, cream, and cornmeal playing a key role in the side dishes. My own family used to include foods such as dried fruit, green beans, and stale bread stuffing. My husband's family used sausage in making their stuffing for the turkey, and side dishes that reflected his family's Italian roots.
Going Home
One aspect of Thanksgiving which is unique to other US holidays is the importance of going home. This is more than going home to be with family, it also is a time to reconnect with the community in which one grew up. Perhaps a result of an agrarian culture which became mobile (as people moved to the cities or other parts of the country for better opportunities), many people take the time out to go back to visit school friends, extended family, and reconnect with their past. This is unique for a culture that tends not to look to its past. However, it is more than just seeing old friends.
Many high schools have official or unofficial reunions. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving (this holiday is always on a Thursday) is a big day for the bars and local restaurants as people go out to be with their friends they have not seen for some time. This is truly one of the most social times of the year. The Wednesday before is also the biggest travel day of the year. Interestingly enough, this "migration" reminds me of the biblical census time where everyone was expected to go back to the town in which they were born. I also feel the same sense of connection to community as I did on Election Day in Costa Rica in which most voters returned to their home town to vote. There is a connection with the past and the present; with those who were brought up with the same values even though they may have changed and have different values today.
Family
Interestingly enough, if you were to see the portrayal of Thanksgiving on television, you would think that is was the most important part of this holiday. While family is more important than many other US holidays (e.g. Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day), who we spend our Thanksgiving is an indication of how we define "family". In some cases, family is extended, in others it is nuclear, and still in others it is a close set of friends.
What we do as a family also varies. In my own family, when we were growing up, we would go outside and play American football. For many years we spent Thanksgiving at my grandparents' house on Long Island. The day after Thanksgiving, my father would take us into New York City once we were old enough (I think 6 or 7), to look at the Christmas decorations and have Shirley Temples (punch) at the Plaza Hotel. My own family has a tradition of going for a walk after dinner and before dessert is served. This too is an insight into our culture, as each family creates their own traditions on Thanksgiving.
To me, when I lived outside of the US, Thanksgiving was the hardest holiday NOT to celebrate. It seemed so AMERICAN. Perhaps that is why we always celebrated it as expatriates. We often had a feeling of real nostalgia and it was difficult to explain the "spirit" of Thanksgiving to non-Americans. For anyone who lives outside of the US, if you want to capture the true American spirit, I would suggest that you spend a Thanksgiving in the US. It is unlike any other holiday here.
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